Talk Topic: "Opportunity Cost" and Family Time
Approximate length: 15 minutes
Topics covered: family, family home evening, proclamation on the family
"Opportunity Cost" and Family Time
I would like to ask if you are familiar with the term “opportunity cost”?
Opportunity cost is simply the cost of passing up the next best choice when making a decision. Most often this term is applied to business decisions, but it certainly has significant meaning to each of us. Every day we make hundreds of decisions, with some of the most important decisions being how we will spend our time.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks said:
“Our priorities are most visible in how we use our time. Someone has said, “Three things never come back—the spent arrow, the spoken word, and the lost opportunity.” We cannot recycle or save the time allotted to us each day. With time, we have only one opportunity for choice, and then it is gone forever.”
- Dallin H. Oaks, “Focus and Priorities,” Ensign, May 2001, 82
While many people with families might agree that “having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain” (Martin Mull), we know how important the family unit is in our Heavenly Father’s Plan of Salvation.
It is worth reiterating – the Brethren definitely agree. The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles issued a “proclamation to the world” about the family. Here are some excerpts from that proclamation:
Excerpts from “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”
“We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children….
The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally….
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ…
Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities...
We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society…”
Given that the family is so important to the Brethren, I went back to check a little bit of Church History on the subject. I thought it was interesting to read about the Saints in Kirtland and their family life.
“While most of the Saints were grateful for such momentous events as the calling of the Twelve Apostles and the publication of the Doctrine and Covenants, their day-to-day life centered on earning a living on the farm or in town. Despite long hours of hard physical work, the Saints found time for recreation, education, and worship.
Although leisure time was limited, the Kirtland Saints enjoyed hunting, fishing, swimming, and horseback riding. Wintertime favorites included ice skating and sleigh riding. Family associations were especially important to the Saints. After a long day's work, parents and children often enjoyed the evening together singing, playing, studying, and discussing topics of common interest.”
It was in the 1960’s that the Lord inspired the prophet to place heavy emphasis on family home evenings. Beginning in 1965 the Church published manuals with weekly lessons to be used by families around the world. While instruction in priesthood and auxiliary classes presented gospel principles, the activities in the home focused on the practical everyday application of those principles. In addition to the Church's home evening manuals, various organizations issued suggestions for family activities.
Elder Harold B. Lee testified that this program was inspired. He said: "My mind has been filled with the realization that in 1964 and the year just preceding, we have been receiving as pertinent and important divine direction as has ever been given to the Church in any similar period in its history through the prophet and leader who now presides as the President of this Church."
In the preface to the first family home evening manual, President David O. McKay declared, "The problems of these difficult times cannot better be solved in any other place, by any other agency, by any other means, than by love and righteousness, and precept and example, and devotion to duty in the home."
If those were difficult times, how much more important is it needed today!
A later manual contained this promise: "Families who prayerfully prepare and constantly hold their weekly Home Evenings, and who work together during the week to apply the lessons in their lives, will be blessed. There will be better feelings between husband and wife, between parents and children, and among children. In such homes the Spirit of the Lord will be made manifest."
Encouraged by such promises, Latter-day Saint parents around the world gratefully implemented this new program. Whether the family home evening was held in a New York City apartment, a Navajo hogan, or in a Polynesian thatched home, there were usually certain common elements: family members took turns conducting the program, offering prayers, leading the singing, and presenting the lesson. Families often combined these elements of their home evenings with special recreational activities and almost always served refreshments.
In 1970 Church leaders announced that Monday evenings were set aside for these family gatherings and that no other Church activities were to be held on that night.
Even missionary work was affected by the Church's emphasis on the family. Wholesome family relationships were the theme of a series of brief announcements the Church produced for radio and television. Many of these "HomeFront" messages earned awards for excellence from religious and broadcasting groups. Showing families how to conduct home evenings was an effective way for missionaries to introduce nonmembers to the gospel. Following this initial contact, missionaries frequently were invited back to present their regular proselyting discussions.
President David O. McKay often endorsed the importance of the family. In an oft-quoted declaration he affirmed, "No other success can compensate for failure in the home. The poorest shack of a home in which love prevails over a united family is of greater value to God and future humanity than the richest bank on earth. In such a home God can work miracles and will work miracles…. Pure hearts in a pure home are always in whispering distance of heaven."
Recently the members of the ward were given a copy of this “Family Guidebook” published by the Church. I’d like to focus on one thing it says in here:
From the “Family Guidebook”:
The father should plan times often to have the entire family do things together. Picnics, camping, family projects, home and yard work, swimming, hiking, and wholesome movies and other entertainment are a few of the many activities that families can enjoy together.
A family that enjoys activities together will feel greater love and harmony. Children will be more willing to listen to their parents and follow their advice when they feel close to them. Parents will be able to teach the gospel more effectively.
Mother Teresa said something really profound in her Nobel Lecture after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979:
…I think that we in our family, we don’t need bombs and guns, to destroy to bring peace—just get together, love one another, bring that peace, that joy, that strength of presence of each other in the home. And we will be able to overcome all the evil that is in the world. There is so much suffering, so much hatred, so much misery, and we with our prayer, with our sacrifice are beginning at home. Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the action that we do.
Tao Te Ching is credited with the following saying:
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don't try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
I love that phrase: Be “completely present”. Be there. Be all the way there.
Building memories is important, and it requires planning and resources – activities and trips were important to our family – it was always a great adventure. Here’s a couple of them that I’d like to tell you about:
- INSERT YOUR PERSONAL MEMORIES HERE -
The small things count. Mother Teresa said something really profound in her Nobel Lecture after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979:
Let us make one point, that we meet each other with a smile, when it is difficult to smile. Smile at each other, make time for each other in your family.
Mother Teresa, in her Nobel lecture
Elder Oaks continues:
“Good choices are especially important in our family life. For example, how do family members spend their free time together? Time together is necessary but not sufficient. Priorities should govern us in the precious time we give to our family relationships. Compare the impact of time spent merely in the same room as spectators for television viewing with the significance of time spent communicating with one another individually and as a family.”
- Dallin H. Oaks, “Focus and Priorities,” Ensign, May 2001, 82
"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family." – Thomas Jefferson
|
Linear Mode
