Mormon Football
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during meeting.
Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during Sacrament.
Half-time - The period between Sacrament and Sunday School when many choose to leave.
Bench warmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the meeting.
Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of tithing that should be given to the Lord's work.
Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the meeting is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant Replay - The speaker loses his/her notes and falls back on last week's Sunday School lesson.
Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the meeting goes into "overtime".
Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.
End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any visitor or fellow member.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the meeting to affect your life.
Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to
return for their other meetings.
Sacked - Being asked to speak in Sacrament meeting (tomorrow).
Blitz - The rush for the refrigerator following the closing prayer on
fast Sunday.
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